Open secret x for meditation: we cannot depend on our lovers to prove to us that we are not broken because actually, in some way, we all are. Wounded, anyway.
Perhaps such a small and silly thing could be one of the biggest tasks we face on this marble: to see and touch the world around us and to try to not harm what we see and touch.
Penetration through breath work. We penetrate the whole universe with our being when we simply inhale and then exhale. We penetrate each and everybody else that was, is, and will ever be, as we breathe.
What does it mean to breathe for one another?
Suite in Curiosity
A tantra of connection for our breath. Sitting on the ground. Our legs crossed Indian-style but around each other. A pillow beneath me to hold me a bit over your legs. So, we can wrap better. My cunt pressed to your hound. We feel the heat of each other radiate back into ourselves. We just try to breath with each other. Match our breath so we can inhale together.
And then exhale. In simultaneous time.
And, we try to hold our gaze into the other’s eyes. It will feel awkward at first. Forced effort to sit and just stare. Too much eye contact. Giggles involuntarily escaping.
How long do we sit here?
Long enough to fully feel the discomfort of our active choice to inaction.
Intimacy doubled initially until time passes and our discomfort becomes a pulse. An entrancing rhythm.
I say: I imagine in this moment, that I can see so deeply into you, as I gaze, that I am able see you, beloved beast, way back.
Before you were ever wounded.
Innocent, clean, unafraid, sacred.
As I do, I imagine you looking in to me and seeing me the same way.
Entranced. We could easily make love or fuck with ferocity from this place.
Enter me with air. Undulate against me.
There are as many ways to touch
As there are many ways to love.
I will quicken in front of you. Fill up with energy. I will magnetize your charge.
I put a hand over your mouth to take control of your sweet breath. To try out something new. Letting you know when you are to breath and when you should not.
Your eyes glaze. You look a bit dizzy.
Let us share one breath.
Now, cover my mouth and uncover it again.
Feel how you adapt to my heart rate? You begin to know when I need air. You start feeling my shortness of breath within yourself. You sync to my breath as you control my breathing.
As you watch my body live before you.
You feel like you breath for me.
Or, perhaps, I am breathing for both of us.
I want our lungs to breath together.
Feel your breath as it is.
While I tell you this, I’d like you to take a slow, long inhalation.
Deep in and out.
Imagine the air you draw in as ocean blue. It moves like cold, clean water into you. Without holding it in, lean into me as you prepare to exhale.
Feel that nanosecond before you complete your inhalation, but have not quite begun to exhale.
The flux of air pressure shifting with your muscles.
Open your mouth.
Kiss my lips, open mouth.
Now, exhale slowly out of your mouth into my mouth.
Fully empty your lungs of air into my mouth. I will suck your exhalation into my lungs.
As you breathe life into me, feel the exhalation pull your discomfort and pain and antsy from you.
The air feels hot in your lungs now.
Imagine it flowing out of you like a hot orange lava flow.
Clear your lungs and send your uncorrected energy into me.
I let a bit of fresh oxygen enter as I breath you in. Inhaling deeply, but not at an unnaturally slow pace. My body will convert your exhaustion into usable parts. I will take in your breathy tangles as hot lava and in that moment between inhale becoming exhale, I drive the unwelcome energy into the void of my being where it is tempered into green smoke, cool like mint. You will wait the three and four seconds and then I will return your breath to you.
And, it clears your chest of tightness. Careful to pull a bit of new air in so we do not fully deplete this breath we share. I feel dizzy. Light. Tranced.
I feel dizzy. Light. Tranced.
I put my palm over your heart to support you. Holding you up and pushing you against your heart. Back and forth. Push. Hold.
You swing away and then back towards me to the rhythm of our breath.
In this way, seated, we somehow walk right along our ledge together. Foundation for future magical enchantment. Quiet. And completely loud.
Ritual of consecration of our feast of famine.
I am fascinated by the scientific endeavor and I read about or engage with those processes as much as possible. I am a compulsive reader and writer. With a background in anthropology and as an arm-chair/backyard scientist, I hope to improve my writing skills and learn about any areas of weakness or misunderstanding in my analytic skills. I am excited to share. Thank you for spending time here. Please reach out if you are so inclined. I'd be excited to hear from you. View all posts by writtencasey