Reading Hermit}One Leafe Left In A Study

I once thought to myself, in one of those moments of passing lucidity: Is the point of life to remember how to enjoy breathing? Is it the most basic pleasure?





Did you know the word “panic” does derive from Pan?  Look it up, might be buried deeper than a single dictionary.

Did you know that Freud posited that the idiosyncratic, neuroses afflicting individuals in society are a result of human civilization itself, not some inherent biology deficiency?

Involuntary loss of control over voluntary processes. Inability to breath.

Breathless. Is that not the quintessence of smoking, smoking anything, inhaling anything?

Taking in the air around you seems inane or futile. Breathing reaffirms life.

Music and speech force breath and leave breathless. Breathing through your nose,

closing your throat to prevent air slipping through

renders speechless.


Here are the things I’ve been thinking/reading over the last few years:

iPagan. Edited by Trevor Greenfield, 2018. Textbook for learning organizational & historical of “naturalist” sects.

The Glass Bead Game (Master Ludi). Hermann Hesse, 1990. Henry Holt

Foucault’s Pendulum. Umberto Eco, 1988. “A Helen and Kurt Wolff book.”

On Literature. Umberto Eco.

The Confessions of St. Augustine. find the Oxford version. Read it as though your narrator is being completely ironic. 

Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling

Kantian Reason

Bertrand Russell’s efforts to formalize systems

Sartre’s Being and Non-Being

Consider: Euclidean/Non-Euclidean Space ; Gödel’s sentence G ; a priori methods formalizing almost axiomatically ; the difference between linear/non-linear equations ; consider the different types of numbers and the number line ; consider the difference between permutations and combinations

Incompleteness: The Proof and Paradox of Kurt Gödel. Rebecca Goldstein 2005.

Gödel Escher Bach ; Metamathematical Themas ; Mind’sI. Douglas R. Hofstadter

Gödel’s Proof. Ernest Nagel, James R. Hofstadter, 2001

 A Mathematician’s Apology. G.H. Hardy, 1940

Introduction to Logic. Patrick Suppes, 1957

Short Stories: The Circular Ruins (Jorges Borges) ; The Beautiful Dream  (Hermann Hesse) ; The Dream of Poliphilius ; The Great God Pan Arthur Machen

Consider and draw the Sephirotic Tree.

Consider the nature of words and language: Use Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements as introduction

Consider Parzifal (A.T. Hatto’s translation of Wolfram Von Eschenbach)

Danse Macabre. Stephen King.

Plato-Socrates: The Apology, Phaedo, Swan’s Song,

Random Rabbit Holes: the concept of godess/godheads, female and male sexuality/Hesperus is Phosphorus/a book’s copyright page, Odysseus, Ajax.

The Ecstasy Beyond Knowing: A Manual of Meditation. Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan, 2014.

The most interesting question that comes from all this reading, in my opinion: What is the subliminal symbolism of sexuality?




Top 3 Pars/zifal Quotes

By pity guided,

The guileless fool;

Wait for him,

My chosen tool.

Richard Wagner. Parsifal

(The keynote of Parsifal is Ecstasy.)

Parzifal: I scarcely move, Yet I swiftly seem to run

Gurnemanz: my son, thou seest Here SPACE and TIME are ONE.

Parzifal. Wolfram von Eschenbach. Translated by A.T. Hatto

I’m Wolfram von Eschenbach. I’m a bit of a minnesænger.

A Knecht a’kneeled Before Flame

He saw how Joseph was annealed by the fire…[and] felt the ordeal more than Joseph. P241

Sounded overwrought to me. Then I bothered (sic. concerned) myself with actually looking up


I was being educated on several levels. I first read the sentence such that I thought I knew more than I did. I imagined /annealed/ to be some form of a bow or a kneeling position, a kiss the ring, smell the glove. A posture taken when the situation demands you take yourself seriously. If you can imagine such a thing! Or that you undertake to do something trivial quite meticulously. For the sake of the process itself. By your choice. You take part with and in. Or, when ritual, tradition, culture, bestows us a transcendental catharsis by allowing us to take very specific actions with others undertaking them alongside, as well. A hymn sung by a choir. Suddenly, lighting a candle is holy. Yet, lighters and matches abound. Fire is easy to come by but it was not always so.

Blind spot.

Shocking how much meaning we can contain. There are so many pearls that some readers start arguing over the appraising of an irregular pearl. It is all about finding, examining, analyzing, and drawing conclusions about the relative value. Waiting to find that big money shot pearl. A yup.

“awe, more valuable. made of pearl but unique, collectors edition. Gesture, essence. and articulation.”

“Worthless. It’s shape isn’t paradigmatic of the standard pearl. Misinformed. Monstrous, devalues the other pearls to even be in the same bowl with them.”

Who let the pigs out? Who? Hoo hoo?

Too much monkey business for me. We as a species have moved on. Or did I miss the train and am now out of joint?

The Glass Bead Game: Magister Ludi. 1990. First Owl Books Edition. $18.00 USD/$24.95 Canada. That seems really inexpensive as I think back on it now. At five hundred and fifty eight total pages, it is a trek but no death march. As with any trek, though there will be days. But, then there will really be days! Am I right, a hyuck, hyuck.

The length is not the deterrent. The printing of the book intimidates. At least my copy. That is why I bought it. It looked too heavy for a book that size. A thing that is larger than physics allows but your eyes empirically cannot deny. Your brain’s rational processors will fill in the reasons that ‘you can’t trust your eyes.’

A phone booth and doctor.

A House of Leaves.

A ship ever at sail on a foreign sea, the life of the house mouse lost.

S/he loses their position in the home.

You lose something you did not know could go missing. The notion of home? An ending spoiled. Don’t let the little ones hear. Something you cannot unlearn but surely there is room for doubt and maneuver. Doubt suffers where there is little room

Something you took for granted. Because there is so much to see and so many things vying for the pleasure of your (everone’s) attention at all times. We cannot process the amount of information we physically can conceive us. We get by and brains fill in the blanks. The way you discover your new car’s blind spot.

《《 》》

Crash. Ah, hell.

《《 》》

But what was to be done? Can you judge yourself for not knowing that your vehicle is afflicted with a blind spot? Sure, but where that at? If you want me I’ll be in the bar. Speculating on some dreamy nonsense. The thing you did not see in your rearview & side mirrors (electric-adjustable, I’d wager) as you merged lanes, was, by dint of optical physics, unseeable. You cannot adjust for and account for such a variable.

The publishers did not eff around. There is a deliberate concern for both style and balance in the margin setting and lettering layout. There is room to scrawl. If you are into that sort of thing. I am! The luxury of the thick white broadband’s conjunction into right angles about the four verticies gains further dimensionality by its opposing page.

The reflecting pool in the palm. Narcissus finally went mobile. Each page appears with its predecessor and/or successor in symmetry. Consider the leaf of the sheet itself. Two page numbers and each bearing letter matricies yet on but one page. One page in the book holds two pages. Think about that. There ain’t ya’ll entertained? If that is not magic, then ya’ll doin’ it wrong. I see gods contained and present amongst the multiform streams. IHS Bacchus first. Then as Janus. Holding us in the present, pressed fast between the past and the future tense. So the text on each side of the page gives rise to leaf between your fingers as you turn the page.

Let us say, maybe, five hundred and forty pages are geometrically identical in dimension, same squares, same squares. Matrix array with its vectors contained in those critical margins. Two koi ponds reflected about the same axis of symmetry. Simpatico. The more you read, the more the very confined area with unnecessarily tiny pt. font, single spaced. Tight, trim, orderly. And you are drawn in and held fixed in that little space. Rapt. Enraptured.

And then the ratio expands. The page does not seem so small.

The biggest hinderance to the book’s popularity in America was a poor original cipher of the German language. But translating the lyrical prose of Hesse is probably like trying to translate a Japanese character into ‘the English word for it.’ You can pull it off but the English Equivalence is questionable. Americans are poorly positioned to be strong readers of such heavy, often erudite, ultimately, ironic tomes. We do not get the geographical exposure to other cultures.

Hell, we didn’t get the joke.

It fell for it too! The joke of being so dreadfully stoic that the reader would not dare think you were givin’ a ribbin.’ This is a book; An effing long one; I found all these pearls. I’m rich. Made-man. This is a book of power not jokes for blokes.

Sigh. Now, your cracking me up.

The good news is, if you do ever get the joke, it makes you smile and laugh out loud. Then shake your head. Hold on.

Although, states are arguably the same as little countries.

A discussion of the rather interesting history of this book finding expression in the English language

The Cheek Of You, Eco!

Foucault’s Pendulum¤ = Asteroid of a book and author and both have coated me in spec(k)s of poussières d’étoiles forever.

Sister star to The Glass Bead Game: Magister Ludi°, at least in my little ol’ heart.

Trine. Zenith. Allegorical Syzygy?

Funny, for sure. Bless him for that because this book was heavy-wading for this gal.


I hit p.478 and read the text in the pic below. I, literally, Laughed out Loud; I, figuratively, was Rolling on the Floor Laughing.^

Mystical sumption of the syllogism, or modus ponens. But while this gal fumbles with wordsmithing, here are some juicy open secrets to for you more achievement oriented individuals to add to your trove.

Do you see the connection?

¤ Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data [ed. note: open secret x]

Eco, Umberto

[Pendolo di Foucault, English]

Foucault’s pendulum/by Umberto Eco ; translated from the Italian

by William Weaver—Ist ed.

p. cm.

Translation of: Il pendolo di Foucault.

“A Helen and Kurt Wolff book.”

ISBN 0-15-132765-3

PQ4865.C6P4613. 1989

853′.914–dc20. 89-32212

°Originally published under the title of Das Glasperlenspiel by Fretz & Verlag AG Zürich Copyright 1943.

^ Aka 🤣 FKA (original med. f/k/a) ROLF. This note is for my sister, with love.

Parsifal/Sufi Connection

As I research Parsifal/-zifal, I like to jot unexpected correspondences. Here is one involving the Sufi tradition. The quick quote below is included in a Sufi meditation manual that came into my possession a year and a half ago.

“The radiance of the streamers emanating from the shoulder blades has, when unfolded, often been compared by Sufi’s with a mantle of light. In the Parsifal legends, it was because there were holes in the mantle of Anfortas that the evil forces of the night were able to attack him.” Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan. The Ecstasy Beyond Knowing: A Manual of Meditation. 2014. p47

Anafortas: the wounded Fisher King who guard the Grail at Munsalvaesche.

[Perceval arrives at the Grail Castle, to be greeted by the Fisher King. From a 1330 manuscript of Perceval ou Le Conte du Graal by Chrétien de Troyes, BnF Français 12577, fol. 18v]

Below is the context in which the quote above is presented. The reader is being given meditation methods to enliven these ideas. Parsifal is not mentioned again.

The (life) energy fields includes the electrostatic and electromagnetic fields, the aura, called bioluminescence (light body?), the sonic field, and perhaps fields of other alternate forces (chi force; etheric body, which pulses with your breath; celestial body.) p46

“The energy in the human electromagnetic field flows in manifold ways. You may distinguish [sic. seven total ways including]… streamers (plumes of energy). ” p46

The concept of energy pluming from your body can be illustrated by:

1) Energy streaming above the head, like the Pentecostal tongues of flame

2) Energy flashing from the temples “as the winged thoughts of Greek Mythology”

3) Energy pluming out from behind the shoulder blades as winglike or cloaklike.

4) Plumes around the temples, included with the wings of the Seraphim.

5) Plumes around the shoulder blades and ankles, as the wings found in images of Hermes or Mercury.

Khan proposes that attributing validity to the existence of such “higher” fields that have so far not yielded to the measurement of science, enables the accounting for some of the uncanny bouts of energy to which contemplatives refer. Examples:

  • The quickening of the Holy Spirit to Christian mystics
  • Ruh al-quddus to Sufi
  • The Shekina among Jewish mystics.

“Actually, we [sic. science & mysticism] have been going along with the assumption that the body emits these fields, but what if the electromagnetic field, in fact, all components of the life field, were the templates, the mold, in which the body is being formed?” p. 47

One related meditation practice is listed among other practices given in this section.

  • “Try to feel such streamers emanating from your shoulder blades. Envision them as unfolded and draped around your back, affording a kind of protection, or even as the robe investing the initiate into the Hermetic tradition. All the above practices will need to be extended to the aura of light.”p48