Blustery and Blushing

A crisp breeze whips through us as we walk.

I look to your forearms

in anticipation.

Each breaking out in thousands of little goose pimples.

Reddening the skin.

Your face flushes as your blood vessels respond to the

change in ambient temperature.

It turns you to a blushing man.

Your eyes go childlike and I can imagine

your childhood face, even though I have never seen it.

The one you wore when you were fresh and new.

Before you knew how time flows

and before all that time flowed you.

Back when all you knew was feeling.

Before you had knowledge, before you wanted to have more knowledge, before you needed to prove things.

Before you knew that you know nothing.

A ray of light projects itself through the grey day’s smokey cloud cover.

It reenlivens your skin tone.

You thaw.

And, I wonder: where were you the very first time

sunlight kissed you and

began stripping away

your skin’s virginity.

In private, I will observe your bare form.

Looking for tell tale signs distributed and

laying across every inch of you.

I will trace my fingers along and press my lips to each revelation

of how you became what you are.

It is like that?

Because we are perceivers, that is why?

There is only causation because we create it?

We created the Why?

We have an inborn propensity to see causation. We attribute our perceptions to external causes, but some perceptual representations are internal, for instance, optical illusions.

[Consciousness] is an evolved user-illusion, a system of virtual machines.

David C. Dennett. The Evolution of Minds: from bacteria to Bach. 2017

The voice of knowledge wants to know what everything means, to interpret everything that happens in our lives.

DM Ruiz & DJ Ruiz. 2010, p124 & 13. ISBN 978-1-878424-61-7

Formalizing metaphysical, higher-level education

Prof. Lewis: what is the meaning of life?

Carroll: to answer the question, “what is the meaning of life?” Is that right?

Chuck raises his hand and is acknowledged; he asks: will this be on the quiz?

This is Numberwang?

This is Numberwang?

(Kindly let me know if my math does not tally below. I tried to check and recheck it, but…)

<◇>

Q: When was 120 minutes ago from now?

A: It was two hours ago.

<◇>

When was one hundred and sixty four billion (164,000,000,000) minutes ago?

Hum, huh?

~

My illiteracy with numbers occurs at a certain threshold.

Numerical literacy*? Not my strong suit. So, I play with numbers, with what I can imagine.

For example, I can imagine a triangle, a square, a pentagram, a hexagon, a septagon, an octagon. But, I cannot imagine, or see in my mind’s eye what a 25 sided polygon would look like. I would have to try to draw it.

There is a 10,000 sided polygon, called a myriagon, according to geometry.

I will take their word for it because I cannot imagine being able to imagine what that would actually like.

~

I am not monied. The difference between one million dollars and one billion dollars? Well, sure, ‘orders of magnitude’, but I only understand that in the abstracted sense. The practical difference between such huge numbers is not immediately obvious to me. But, the news, scientific research, and governments, regularly inundate us with such large numbers.

~

Do a thought experiment with me? I wanna know:

Q1. How far could the millions of dollars, comprising a billion dollars, go?

Q2. If I had one hundred and sixty four billion dollars (as I hear someone in America truly does) and I gave away one million dollars per day, how many days before I am broke? Let’s pretend I keep my $164,000,000,000.00 in cash in a safe. That means my money is not making more money via interest, returns, dividends.

If I have one billion dollars in cash, let’s imagine it’s kept in one million dollar bills. I would have one thousand of these million dollar bills.

I could give one of the $1,000,000 bills everyday for 1,000 days before running out of money.

If there are 365 days a year, 1,000 days is about 2.75 years.

The difference between a million and a billion, practically speaking?

A1. You can give away $1,000,000.00 everyday for almost three years before exhausting $1,000,000,000.00

So, how much more than 1 billion dollars is 164 billion dollars, practically speaking?

Well, if it takes 1,000 days, of giving away 1 million dollars each day, to get rid of a billion dollars;

It would take 164 times longer to give away $164,000,000,000.00 than it would take to give away $1,000,000,000.00

1,000 x 164 = 164,000 days

164,000 days = 449 years and a few months.

If I had $164,000,000,000 ($164 billion), I could give away $1,000,000 ($1 million) everyday for 449 years.?

Fuck.

Now that I see it this way it only raises more, honest questions from an ignorant me.

How much money do people need?

And why? To what end and what do they intend?

______________

*My own numerical illiteracy was introduced to me by a slim, charming book called Innumeracy by John Allen Paulos which I found tucked away in the statistician’s, my father, bookcase.

The idea is wittily conveyed in the sixth chapter of the second section of Douglas R. Hofstader’s book Meta Magical Themas: Questing for the Essence of Mind and Pattern.

The chapter is called Number Numbness.

Both are written for non-math-savvy folks and both pieces manage to entertain with humor.

Aw howl

My ego is howling like a dog who gnawed its leg off after getting caught in the rusted teeth of a bear trap.

Snared in a trap meant to catch the more prized, highly appraised game,

not this bitch.

Don’t fret.

The fitt moves through me like beer.

I will piss it out in five minutes.

Same way I learned how to never be cold: let it flow through your nerves.

Don’t fight it.

Move like water

Watch “Joe Rogan – Mathematician on Trying to Measure Consciousness” on YouTube

I fell down the rabbit hole of Roger Penrose (along with Douglas Hofstadter) during my mid-twenties. I became quite intrigued by Gödel’s sentence G (Nagel has a great book for arm chair thinkers like me).

In/completeness

In/consistency

Computational capacity.

Just watch it, ok?

Giggle.

Proof of I.D.

It is infinitely easy to identify with someone

(but not any-body?).

So you hate cool, swift breezes on hot days?

I don’t.


I leaf notes to future me.

Encryption ain’t the new

Steganographia.

They remind me to

Remember right.

Write.

This is a thread to me.


Leaves about a spine.

Fluttering

For no-one but page

turners.