Overheard, today, in a doctor’s waiting room.
A couple, probably in their late 80’s, check in. They are feeble and hunched over and very grey. They are given new patient forms.
The wife sits down, looks at the form, and yells at her husband who’s still ambling away from the counter. “Harold! What gender do you identify with today?”
“WHAT?!,” yells hard of hearing Harold.
“What gender pronoun do you want them to use? I’ll write it in all caps!”
“What? Oh, gender. Does it say ‘sex’?” Harold yells.
“No! If it did I’d just write ‘yes’.”
<I have lost it at this point. The intake nurses have lost it. The nurse about to call my name is just smiling and watching.>
Laughing. I tell her, “you made my day.”
“My mother taught me that. Anytime they ask about ‘sex,’ you write ‘yes.’ “
I wanted to share the wisdom.
Two of them were here; and, then, they weren’t.
And, she never met either but she knew them both.
It made her feel sad; it made her efforts feel useless.
And, both feelings felt indulgent, so she resented the emotions, to boot.
“That’s really irksome.”
“That I’m unafraid to say, ‘I don’t know’ ? “
“You could speculate.”
“But, if I did not tell you, ‘I don’t know’ before speculating then I devalue the currency of my words at large.”
In American English, the most beloved sentence laid upon ears may be, “That’s my baby.”
The refrigerator moans through its vocal coils like a horny impotent cooling out.
It boils down to a teleological desire to manipulate matter.
I’m not your adversary; I just enjoy being adversarial.
Call me ‘the devil’s advocate,’
Pleased to meet you.
I got no-name to guess.
~ When I see you tremble, it makes me shake. I will devour you with eyes.
⊙ Let me shower first?
~ No. I want to taste your day.
⊙ I’d describe it as a long, hard one. Consider yourself warned.
~ Don’t flatter yourself. As far as I can taste, you never even broke a sweat.
⊙ Such a little, smart ass.
~ A’yup, with a tarty mouth.
⊙ I like it when you front like you’re hard.
~ Well, that’s the thing about having lady parts, swollen and pert is as hard as it gets.
⊙ It does it for me.
~ Yeah, well, do it to yourself tonight. I wanna watch.
⊙ You seem tired.
~ A’yup. And, a bit uninspired.
~ You sure have been. Get to work, please.