“You have told me nothing that Æ do not already know,” Æ tells me, sternly.
I grin, with closed lips, then
I say, “Oh howl. Is that what we were doing? Let me have another go at it.”
I do panto like I am a junkyard bitch barking and straining her neck against an invisible chain tethered to an imaginary spike.
I smile broadly, with both decks of teeth bared.
I suddenly spit out, “I once lit a candle that burned for two days straight despite there being not enough wax left.”
“Ostensibly,” he shrugs.
I cock my head sideways like a curious animal.
“Be quiet. When you try so hard, you always get in your own way,” Æ mutters.
“Oh howl. I thought that was the point of what we were doing. To let me stumble against the obstacle of myself,” I giggle snort, a bit bratty.
“Are you as confident as you seem,” Æ asks, seriously.
I howl in laughter.
“I did not know I appeared confident, Æ. I’m confident that life will render me unconfident often. If I am properly challenging myself.”
“How do you think you appear?” Æ asks me.
I reply, “Great question. I’m confident that I have no idea how I seem. Because, I am inside me, and cannot ever perceive myself. But, I’m the one that gets to experience myself as I am, regardless of how I appear. It used to be ‘I think therefore I am.”
“But, now?” Æ obliges me.
“Now, it’s, I’m seen therefore I am. It’s a real narcissistic shift.”
“So, then, what do you know?” Æ asks.
“All I know is that everytime I ‘think,’ I do not know.”
“And, when you don’t think?”
“I know I am.”
“How are you then?”
“I’m super, thanks for asking,” I giggle snort.
Æ rolls both eyes.
“Hey! I just made up this joke for you, Æ! Do you know it?”
“What’s the difference between feral, spitting of saliva and enunciated speaking?”
Æ smiles coyly. “Æ do like it when you spit your seemingly inane nonsense into the hole between my lips.”
My eyes go hard.